Quinto (Or, I'm So Condescending)

Tashny:	How do you even know what a Vulcan is?
Nicole:	Err, Star Trek?
Tashny:	Oh right, the movie.

"Girls know! They can ALWAYS tell. Boys should stop being so daft. What a fugly skank!"

Nicole

Sometimes

Nicole:	No wonder he said I'm perfect before. LIKE OBVIOUSLY, COMPARED TO THE GIRLS YOU'VE DATED
Me:	AGREED. And trust me, only NOW you're perfect. Give it a year.

"Puhlease. I don’t wear underwear in public and I’m still a virgin. I’m like 100 times holier."

Nicole, laying the smackdown. I remember when she was Christian… lasted for about twelve minutes.

Not Unlike Thor

Nash:	Were you out with Nic last night? She sounded pretty hammered.
Me:	WTF. Just 'cause she drank a lot you assume she was with me?!

"He did say he likes emotionally stable girls. I didn’t know he meant DULL."

Nicole, winning. 

Buggers Think They're Clever

Nicole:	I'm seeing someone.
Jeremy:	I would reckon that if his age were an exam grade, it would be B+, minimum.
Nicole:	He's 28.
Jeremy:	Ah, doing a Tashny, are we?

Pro Tip

If your “best friend” asks you to keep her posted on your location while you are on a date with a man who is practically a stranger and who has asked you to spend the night on your second date, it is because she is worried about your stupid, pretentious, immature ass.

My suggestion is that you be happy people love you this much.

Doesn’t look like you deserve it, though. After numerous needy texts and tweets throughout the day, your persona changes the moment you feel the power over some dude hankering after you.

Sorry, but you can put that book back on the shelf, ‘cause I ain’t buying.

I can’t abide this bitchiness and childish behavior.

Comm&Org

Nicole:	I'm a bunny. I'm wearing bunny ears.
Me:	Fuck you. I'm wearing Cheebs' pants. That don't make me Cheebs. I'm about two feet taller.