January 2012
30 posts
2 tags
"I Buy My Wife Gold."
Yeah, I reallllyyyy don’t need this guilt, especially not at this time.
Jan 27th
1 note
3 tags
“Puhlease. I don’t wear underwear in public and I’m still a virgin....”
– Nicole, laying the smackdown. I remember when she was Christian… lasted for about twelve minutes.
Jan 25th
5 notes
2 tags
Jan 24th
3 notes
3 tags
Broke
Me: Dude, you really need to clean out your wallet.
Anon: Don't worry, you do that for me already.
Jan 23rd
4 notes
3 tags
“Right now I’m willing to do anything for money. Except prostitution....”
– The Kiddo
Jan 23rd
6 notes
3 tags
I Hate Everybody
Me: Baby, I think we should give you a medal.
Anon: What sort of medal?
Me: A DATING ME medal.
Anon: I think they call that a Purple Heart.
Jan 23rd
3 notes
3 tags
“DON’T KAM BACK AND SAY WHY DIDN’T I LISTEN TO MICHY WAI. YOUR...”
– Michelle Tam, as her alter ego Li Peng.
Jan 23rd
3 notes
4 tags
On Not Hearing Me Tell Him 'I Love You' In A Noisy...
Me: So what would you have done if you'd heard me the first time?
Anon: I'd go start a school for the gifted, 'cause obviously I have superhuman hearing.
Jan 23rd
3 tags
“I understand your flat is RM1,200. What did you guys do, take turns with the...”
– The Kiddo
Jan 23rd
3 notes
3 tags
Jan 19th
1,225 notes
2 tags
On Feminism
I think I am very bad at it, or perhaps I just don’t understand it. I know that men and women are equal, although rarely treated as such. I’ll be the first to say that the topic of gender studies turns me off, mainly because of the myriad theories thrown around as people try excuse one belief or justify another.  My take on all this begins and ends at CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET...
Jan 19th
2 notes
3 tags
Not Unlike Thor
Nash: Were you out with Nic last night? She sounded pretty hammered.
Me: WTF. Just 'cause she drank a lot you assume she was with me?!
Jan 19th
3 notes
3 tags
“He did say he likes emotionally stable girls. I didn’t know he meant DULL.”
– Nicole, winning. 
Jan 18th
6 notes
4 tags
Jan 17th
33 notes
3 tags
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer...”
– Muhammad Ali Pertinent.
Jan 17th
2 notes
3 tags
Jan 17th
14 notes
3 tags
Jellicle
Me: If I ever stand you up to rescue a kitty...
Anon: I will shoot two kitties.
Jan 12th
4 notes
3 tags
Jan 11th
6 notes
3 tags
Jan 9th
39 notes
3 tags
Jan 7th
310 notes
2 tags
Haiyo
Akash: So where are you applying?
Me: TMI.
Akash: Sure, like it's some big secret. Nobody cares, okay.
Me: Dude. The Malaysian Insider. For fuck's sake.
Jan 5th
2 notes
5 tags
Jan 5th
12 notes
3 tags
6
“Your ex-girlfriend won’t leave us alone,” Eve declared. “Let’s get out of here and go somewhere she can’t find us.” God wasn’t best pleased.
Jan 4th
2 notes
3 tags
5
Black eyes, broken wrists, bruised ribs – she was glad when the war came and her own personal battles stopped.
Jan 4th
3 tags
4
After I’d gotten the call, I quickly put my four-year-old son up for adoption. When he asked why, I coolly informed him that my clone was ready and he ate his broccoli. 
Jan 4th
2 notes
3 tags
3
I pulled on my red boots and straightened my matching cape. Smiled into the mirror. Today is the day I throw myself off the roof.
Jan 4th
3 tags
2
Liz’s amnesia was permanent, the doctors said. Perfect, I thought to myself, humming as I set fire to the divorce papers.
Jan 2nd
2 notes
5 tags
“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
– Ernest Hemingway laying the smackdown on William Faulkner.
Jan 2nd
9 notes
3 tags
1
The mad scientist increased the voltage, injected more chemicals into the specimen, sewed on fresher parts. But it was all in vain – nothing succeeded in rejuvenating poor Fluffy.
Jan 2nd
1 note
3 tags
“I’d rather walk.”
– Sana So fuckin’ true. I’m going to take that one to heart.
Jan 1st
15 notes