August 2011
57 posts
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Ceylon
“You know?” I asked him, even though I knew that he didn’t, he never had, he never would.
I don’t know how I had so much love for this man who didn’t understand so many things I held dear, how I was moved by someone who was never moved.
It’s kind of odd. First I love someone who could not be moved, and then I love someone who could not be moved by me. Or some...
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Or Not
For some reason, my boyfriend thinks it’s acceptable to say his girlfriend “isn’t ladylike”.
Brushing aside the obvious arguments (along the lines of “who allows you to decide what a lady is?”) and the really horrible cutting remarks that are aimed right at the male ego, I’m going to say… Fuck that noise.
That said, I should probably not get so...
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Boyfriend
I MISS HIM.
I am pathetic.
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“I dunno man, he sounds like a douche.”
– Zaki, on Little Lion Man before things got shitty. Chatting to him after months equals instant missage, especially for his sarky wisdom.
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Resolution
The problem with finding so many things interesting is that I get comfy sitting at my table pretending to research the poultry industry (do you know Malaysians eat, on average, 300 eggs per capita every year? I wonder if that includes cake…)
So I’ve decided to try and find more outlandish, stupid, active things to be interested in and excited about. There’s only so much life in...
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Fred & Ginger
Woke up this morning with a somewhat strange desire to see the Dancing House. Milunić and Gehry, what’s not to love?
Mies van der Rohe can suck it. Him and his straight, boring lines.
(Okay, no lah, I like, just not as much as Gehry.)
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Dear Boys
Here’s a tip: stop referring to her as the ex (if you know what I mean).
I’d recommend that you not underestimate the power of a definite article; and gently remind you that you’re not going to get very far with a girl if you refer to an old love as the ex.
I’m no Kundera (although he touched upon this. “Drawing an equals sign” was the phrase he used, and one...
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“If you have never read secretly under the bedclothes with a flashlight, because...”
– Michael Ende, The NeverEnding Story
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Repeat
Why are people so into telling me they see sadness in my eyes?
Do I need to change my contact lens brand!?
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“That’s not a hug. That’s a GOSSIP HUG.”
– Gerard, after I’ve hugged Nicole for the third time in thirty seconds just so I can whisper into her ear.
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LFB
Okay, so on one hand… It’s Wicked.
On the other hand, I don’t want the crappy SGD55 seats, but the others are all kind of expensive and gahhh I don’t know, Singapore is stupid and I hate it and it’s expensive but.
Wicked.
Like. WICKED.
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Me: Look at all these nice clothes. Baby, why am I good-looking and intelligent and classy instead of rich?
Anon: ...
Me: You must know how I feel.
Anon: Actually, I do. I don't know why we're not rich. Maybe so we won't be assholes?
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Birthday
My phone has reminded me three times of his birthday. Three. Fucking. Times.
This morning, and I thought I dismissed it but I must have just asked it to remind me later, because it did so.
And it’s just done it again. Reminders from Hotmail, Facebook and my contacts list itself.
What the fuck.
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Me: Uh. Are Karamjit's pants... Purple?
José: Yeah.
Me: Why?
José: He's like seven feet tall, I'm not going to fucking ask him. Sometimes he comes and talks to me and I feel like I'm in fucking primary school.
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Pura-pura
Surin: So the winner of the Singaporean presidential elections will be Tan. Mostly because all the candidates are named Tan.
Me: HAHAHA. Damn chinks.
Surin: Uh, Chinathee. Open goal. Wait, scratch that. Own goal.
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“We’re going karaoke and then sleepover at your studio apartment. Manpreet...”
– Nicole Yeoh. Well, that’s the first I heard of it…
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Godot
“Do you see it?
“See what?”
“That everything is wrong.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know. The human condition. Existentalism. Welt-fucking-schmerz. Who cares? Nothing is right.”
“I have no idea what you are on about.”
“Music that doesn’t move you. Couples who aren’t in love. Drugs losing...
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Faded
remember that tank top you bought me? you wrote you’re gorgeous on it;
and i said i’d always love you, but then i stopped because i didn’t think you’d mind.
and the soaring voices capture my heart and tug my soul upwards and for a moment i wish i could fly. and the trip of one note to another, the religion in the music, the shadow puppets that haunt minor keys, your...
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Lunch
When I was at Waves, Jai blamed the bad time I was having on the fact that I never joined my colleagues for lunch. With notable exceptions, such as CKT babi.
But the thing is, I’m not really a fan of the lunching process. It’s a frigging inconvenient meal to have, frankly. In the middle of your day, messing up the workflow. Cannot. I would honestly rather (and four out of five times...
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Bleak
I literally cannot remember the last time I’ve been this entirely discontent.
I can deal with sad, or happy, or even angry. But this abject dissatisfaction is nearly unbearable. I can’t even figure out how to fix it, and I hate the wait-and-watch approach.
I thought I had more discipline than this.
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“You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe she was good for your ego. Or...”
– Callie, Gray’s Anatomy
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“Do not wish for his unhappiness. Wish for your happiness.”
– Surin
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Starbucks
Me: Whoa. That's a lot of credit cards.
Tony: You don't use credit cards?
Me: Nope, I don't even own one.
Tony: Oh. Why is that?
Me: I'm not entitled to one. I'm not 21 yet.
Tony: HAHAHAHAHA. FOR A SECOND I WAS IMPRESSED, LIKE WAH, THIS GIRL IS SO FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE. YOU'RE NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH. That's damn sad, wei.
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“I take it back. Being drunk IS an excuse you can use, as often as you like.”
– Me, on kissing guys. Apparently it made an impression on Nicole.
(via maudlinmidori)
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Day 25: Favorite Buffyverse Saying
‘Bitca’.
And everything here.
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“If you can’t believe, if you can’t accept anything on faith, then...”
– Kris Kringle, Miracle on 34th Street
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Strawberry
It’s funny. It really is.
In some sort of sick (yet hilarious) twist, a sponsor I’d written to a long time ago responded today saying that they might, perhaps, possibly, be interested in funding my graduate studies at Stanford.
Of course, the deadline was July 1st.
So after a huge fight with Anon, this news just sent me to pieces. I’m talking sobbing in my lobby and taking...
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Last Kiss
One last time (thus, with a kiss, I die) – okay, I’m being overdramatic. But I do feel sad.
Surin’s music is probably the only thing getting me through today.
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28/03/2011
Nicole: How do you know he's into you?
Me: He kissed me, duh.
Nicole: Erm, so? Maybe he likes kisses, maybe you're a good kisser.
Me: I dunno, he took me to dinner,
Nicole: Maybe he just likes the kissing, not the person.
Me: He said he wants to give it a shot.
Nicole: He wanna get to know you better, duh.
Me: I dunno then.
Nicole: Or maybe he wants to marry you.
Me: FUCK OFF.
Nicole: He's 30, babe. Tick tock tick tock, can hear the bells soon.
Me: GO DIE.
Nicole: A virgin? No thanks.
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“Can you not, like, associate with bitches? Is that possible?”
– Meesh, 31/03/2011.
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Nasi
But… R hates Madam Kwan’s! He’d never pay that much money for an okay-only nasi lemak.
I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS!!!!
Headache.
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Aww
Me: Why is your luck so bad, baby?
Anon: To balance out for being able to go out with you.
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Nando's
Anon: I'm an extra hot kind of guy.
Me: Yes, yes you are.
Anon: That's why I'm going out with you.
Me: WIN!
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“Because a heart that hurts is a heart that works.”
– Placebo, Bright Lights
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“Do you fall in love with a man EXPECTING him to disappoint?”
– TZF
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Clean
If the “injustice” and “unfairness” of it all angers you, why the fuck didn’t you march on the 9th, you spoiled little bandwagon-jumping brat? Or do you only love your country when it’s fashionable to do so?
I am so tired of these pseudo-intellectuals and armchair analysts and champagne activists.
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“The divine power, Kundalini, shines like the stem of a young lotus; like a...”
– Yoga Kundalini Upanishad 1:82
Hello, new tattoo.
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Bitter
sincerelymine-:
I often wonder how you are with her; if you do the same things you did to me.
Go to him, stay with him if you can – but be prepared to bleed.
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“I remember that time you told me, you said:
“Love is touching...”
– Joni Mitchell, A Case Of You
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Skirt
I made a friend in the office! I mean, like an actual proper sort of colleague-friend that I can talk to. We’re both avid commuters and have press-ganged our boyfriends into dropping us off, and yesterday she was wearing a nice royal blue sweater from Topshop and the day before that she had a gorgeous red high-waisted A-line skirt from MNG and today she complimented my fluted gray skirt.
...
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“Each time we forgive others, we are, in fact, sowing blessings. The more...”
– Master Sheng Yen 